Session Report: Forgotten Relics, Chapter Two

GOBLIN LOVE-FEUD LEAVES NO SURVIVORS
Goblin Widow Tells All
Dargli Steelwright reports for the 'Breland Trumpet'

Former goblin pageant queen and mother of six Nabslash Scardangler (pictured above) was married at eight years old. At ten, she is a widow. She had moved to Sharn from Droaam with her family in an attempt to find a better life. There, she met Gitshank Scardangler, who was to be her husband after a tumultuous one day courtship. Little did she know that tragedy was waiting around the corner. Gitshank worked as a private security consultant, along with his best friend Stabfank Toesnapper. The two were contracted to guard an excavation site in Old Sharn. However, after an altercation broke out between the goblins and a group of ruffians (almost certainly the 'adventurer' criminals who so plague our fair city), Gitshank was left for dead alongside his colleagues. Stabfank barely escaped with his wife. Nabslash was distraught, and turned to her dead husband's best friend for comfort. However, after their wedding two hours later, Stabfank was brutally garroted to death by Gitshank. It turned out that her ex-husband was not so 'ex-' after all! Nabslash witnessed the fight: "It horrible! Gitshank sever Stabfank's head with piano wire. Blood everywhere! Then he fall over into battle axe and accidentally decapitate himself!" When the Sharn Watch finally arrived, they found Gitshank had, indeed, somehow decapitated himself with Nabslash's battle-axe after killing Stabfank. The twice-widowed Nabslash intends to buy a yatch with the life insurance money from her two ex-husbands, and turn it into a casino. "Work will help me put tragedy out of mind!" said Nabslash. "Nabslash will tour world and scatter ex-husbands' body parts. Perhaps then Nabslash will be able to move on and find love again."