Session Report: Forgotten Relics, Chapter Three

HIGH-SPEED BATTLE ON THE LIGHTNING RAIL 

King's Dark Lanterns Subdue Droaam Menace

Dargli Steelwright reports for the 'Breland Trumpet'

Agents of the King's Dark Lanterns engaged in a fierce pitched battle yesterday with monsters from Droaam. An official statement from the King's Citadel says that, following an anonymous tip-off, agents were deployed to break up a Daask cell operating in our fair city of Sharn. Daask is a violent organised crime organisation comprised of monsters, with suspected links to Droaam nationalism. The battle started at the Daask headquarters, a tenement building near the Terminus lightning rail station. The Daask leader, a half-ogre called Garra, and many of her bodyguards escaped on to the lightning rail, but they were pursued by King's Dark Lantern agents. In a fierce battle inside and on top of the lightning rail coaches, Garra was captured. It's good to know that Sharn's streets are safe once more, thanks to the tireless work of the King's Citadel.

Session Report: Forgotten Relics, Chapter Two

GOBLIN LOVE-FEUD LEAVES NO SURVIVORS
Goblin Widow Tells All
Dargli Steelwright reports for the 'Breland Trumpet'

Former goblin pageant queen and mother of six Nabslash Scardangler (pictured above) was married at eight years old. At ten, she is a widow. She had moved to Sharn from Droaam with her family in an attempt to find a better life. There, she met Gitshank Scardangler, who was to be her husband after a tumultuous one day courtship. Little did she know that tragedy was waiting around the corner. Gitshank worked as a private security consultant, along with his best friend Stabfank Toesnapper. The two were contracted to guard an excavation site in Old Sharn. However, after an altercation broke out between the goblins and a group of ruffians (almost certainly the 'adventurer' criminals who so plague our fair city), Gitshank was left for dead alongside his colleagues. Stabfank barely escaped with his wife. Nabslash was distraught, and turned to her dead husband's best friend for comfort. However, after their wedding two hours later, Stabfank was brutally garroted to death by Gitshank. It turned out that her ex-husband was not so 'ex-' after all! Nabslash witnessed the fight: "It horrible! Gitshank sever Stabfank's head with piano wire. Blood everywhere! Then he fall over into battle axe and accidentally decapitate himself!" When the Sharn Watch finally arrived, they found Gitshank had, indeed, somehow decapitated himself with Nabslash's battle-axe after killing Stabfank. The twice-widowed Nabslash intends to buy a yatch with the life insurance money from her two ex-husbands, and turn it into a casino. "Work will help me put tragedy out of mind!" said Nabslash. "Nabslash will tour world and scatter ex-husbands' body parts. Perhaps then Nabslash will be able to move on and find love again." 

Session Report: Forgotten Relics, Chapter One

FRACAS AT TERMINUS STATION

Reporter for 'Sharn Gazette' implicated in violence

Dargli Steelwright reports for the 'Breland Trumpet'

Late-night commuters on the Lightning Rail got more excitement than they bargained for last night as Sharn's Terminus Station became the site of a desperate battle! Eyewitness accounts say that a renegade Warforged fought a running battle against feral Shifters and kobolds, doubtlessly members of some unsavoury street gang, with no regard for the safety of bystanders! The Warforged was brought down, but not before causing considerable property damage. There are also reports that Juniper Knox, a reporter for our rival paper, the Sharn Gazette, was also involved in the fighting, along with her own Warforged thug, one 'Bracer,' who this reporter was able to connect with the paramilitary extremist organisation, the Emerald Claw. This reckless endangering of the press speaks to the lack of professional ethics of the Sharn Gazette staff. City Watchmen were on hand and took the reporter and her Warforged into custody for further investigation, but were forced to release them. Who knows what deal was struck to arrange their freedom? One thing is for sure: as the discerning readers of our paper know, the Sharn Gazette will sink to any low in order to boost their flagging sales!

ALSO THIS ISSUE: "Are Warforged stealing your jobs?" See Page 2. "I bought a house in Skyway thanks to these five simple tricks." See Page 3. "King Boranel's Secret Love-Child Revealed!" See Page 4.